A Smarter Approach to Emotional Intelligence: Enhancing Your EQ

When stepping into a management role for the first time, it’s easy to assume that intelligence (IQ) is what will set you apart. However, while IQ remains a fixed measure, Emotional Intelligence (EI) is something you can develop over time—and it can be the deciding factor in your success as a leader.

As a first time manager, your ability to understand and manage your emotions while also recognising and responding to the emotions of others is essential. Emotional intelligence allows you to:

✅ Build trust
✅ Resolve conflicts effectively
✅ Foster strong relationships with your team

The good news? Unlike IQ, EI is dynamic—it can be learned, strengthened, and refined.

The global EI network Six Seconds breaks emotional intelligence into three core areas:

🔹 1. Know Yourself – Understanding your emotions and their impact on your behaviour.
🔹 2. Choose Yourself – Regulating emotions to respond rather than react.
🔹 3. Give Yourself – Using emotional intelligence to create meaningful connections.

Let’s explore how each of these areas applies to you as a first time manager.

The foundation of emotional intelligence starts with self-awareness. As a leader, you need to identify your emotional triggers and patterns of behaviour. Are you aware of what makes you impatient, frustrated, or stressed? More importantly, do you recognise how these emotions affect your team?

💡 Reflect on the following:

• What situations or behaviours trigger frustration or impatience in you?

• How do you react when things don’t go as planned?

• Are your emotional responses helping or hindering your leadership effectiveness?

Imagine a scenario where a project deadline is missed. Do you react with immediate frustration, or do you take a moment to assess the situation before responding? Your ability to recognise your emotions in the moment will determine whether you escalate the issue or turn it into a learning opportunity for your team.

Once you understand your emotional triggers, the next step is managing them effectively. This is called self-regulation, and it allows you to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.

💡 A great tool for self-regulation is the pause—a moment of reflection before responding. When faced with a challenge, ask yourself:

• What is the best outcome I want to achieve here?

• How can I communicate my concerns without frustration?

• What impact will my reaction have on my team?

For example, let’s say a team member delivers subpar work. Instead of reacting with immediate disappointment, take a moment to gather your thoughts. Approach the conversation with curiosity rather than criticism—ask questions like, “What challenges did you face while working on this?” This approach fosters growth rather than discouragement.

The final step is empathy and connection—understanding the emotions and needs of your team. As a first time manager, your success isn’t just about hitting targets; it’s about empowering your people.

To “give yourself” means to put yourself in your team members’ shoes. It means listening, showing compassion, and leading with emotional intelligence. When employees feel understood and supported, they are more engaged and motivated.

Consider this: If an employee is struggling with a heavy workload, do you:

❌ Assume they aren’t managing their time well and demand better results?
 

✅ Take the time to understand their challenges and offer support where possible?

Option two creates an environment where employees feel valued and heard—leading to stronger performance and commitment.

The shift from individual contributor to manager can be overwhelming, but emotional intelligence provides the framework for success. By focusing on self-awareness, self-regulation, and empathy, you will:

💡 Build trust within your team
💡 Improve communication and conflict resolution
💡 Foster a positive, productive work environment

The best leaders aren’t those with the highest IQ, but those with the ability to understand, navigate, and connect with their people. Start developing your emotional intelligence today, and you’ll not only become a stronger leader—you’ll also create a workplace where your team thrives.