Real Leaders Show Vulnerability: Embrace Authentic Leadership

coaching connection emotional intelligence first time manager growth leadership vulnerability Jul 31, 2024
person wearing mask

For many first time managers, the transition from being a team member to leading a team can be both exciting and challenging. A key aspect of this journey is learning to embrace vulnerability. Vulnerability in leadership involves being open, honest, and authentic with your team, even when it feels uncomfortable. Here’s why vulnerability is crucial for new managers, illustrated with real-life scenarios from individuals I’ve coached.

Admitting When You Don't Know

A new manager I recently coached faced a tough challenge early in her role. She was leading a project that involved unfamiliar technology, and her team relied on her for guidance. During a crucial team meeting, a complex technical issue came up, and all eyes turned to her for a solution. Feeling the pressure, she realised she didn’t have the answer.

Instead of pretending to know or dodging the question, she took a deep breath and said, “I’m not sure about the specifics here, but I will find out. Does anyone have insights or experience with this technology?” This honest moment was crucial. The room, initially filled with tension, began to relax. One team member, who had experience with similar technology, stepped forward with valuable suggestions.

Her honesty did more than just solve the immediate problem; it set a positive tone for future interactions. By admitting she didn’t know everything, she showed humility and openness. Her team saw that it was okay not to have all the answers, which encouraged them to share their expertise and work together more effectively. This situation created a culture of learning and support within her team.

In follow-up meetings, she kept this approach. She would often start discussions with, “Here’s what I know, and here’s what I need help understanding.” This practice not only made her more approachable but also empowered her team members to contribute more actively, knowing their knowledge and skills were valued.

Sharing Personal Challenges

Another individual I coached noticed that his team’s morale was low after a series of tight deadlines. The stress was obvious, and productivity was beginning to suffer. After discussing the situation with me, he decided to take a different approach. Drawing from his own experience, he aimed to connect with his team on a more personal level.

During a team lunch, he opened up about his past. “I’ve been feeling the pressure too,” he said, “and I remember a time when I felt completely burned out in my previous job. I pushed myself too hard and didn’t take the necessary breaks. It’s important to find balance and support each other.”

His story resonated with his team. He shared specific details about how his burnout had affected him - how it had led to sleepless nights, constant anxiety, and ultimately, a decline in his performance. He then talked about the steps he took to recover, such as setting clear boundaries, taking regular breaks, and seeking support from colleagues and mentors.

This willingness to be vulnerable about his past struggles created an environment of empathy and understanding. Team members started to open up about their own experiences. One team member admitted that she was struggling to balance work with personal responsibilities at home. Another shared his challenges with managing the workload.

This openness helped in addressing issues before they escalated. He worked with his team to develop practical strategies for managing stress, such as flexible work hours, exercise programs, and regular check-ins to discuss workload and well-being. This proactive approach promoted a healthier work-life balance and boosted overall team morale.

Learning from Mistakes

Another new manager I worked with encountered a significant setback early in her managerial role. During a high-stakes client presentation, she made a mistake that led to confusion and delays in the project. The error was critical, and she felt the pressure of her new responsibilities more than ever.

Instead of covering up the error or shifting the blame, she decided to address it head-on. In the next team meeting, she said, “I made a mistake in our last presentation that affected our timeline. Here’s what happened: I misinterpreted the client’s requirements which led to incorrect data being presented. I’ve reviewed the process and realised where things went wrong.”

She didn’t stop there. She detailed the steps she took to correct the mistake, including consulting with the client to clarify their needs and working with her team to revise the data. She also invited her team to discuss what could be done differently to prevent similar issues in the future. “Let’s work together to ensure we don’t repeat this,” she said.

By owning her mistake and sharing her learning process, she set a powerful example for her team. She showed that it was okay to make mistakes as long as they were acknowledged and used as learning opportunities. This approach fostered a culture of continuous improvement and psychological safety, where team members felt secure in taking risks and innovating.

Her transparency had a ripple effect. Team members started to share their own mistakes and the lessons they learned. This collective learning process strengthened the team’s problem-solving capabilities and resilience. They implemented regular debrief sessions after major projects to review what went well and what could be improved, turning every project into an opportunity for growth.

The Power of Vulnerability

These examples highlight how embracing vulnerability can transform a first time manager’s approach to leadership. By admitting when they don’t know something, sharing personal challenges, and learning from mistakes, new managers can create a more inclusive, supportive, and innovative team environment.

Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness; rather, it is a powerful tool for building trust, fostering collaboration, and driving continuous improvement. First time managers who embrace vulnerability set the stage for authentic leadership and pave the way for long-term success for themselves and their teams.


Enjoyed this blog? Join our free webinar series, Lead With Confidence: Fundamentals for First Time Managers. Our engaging webinars will inspire, educate, and equip you with the tools to become a more confident and competent leader. Experience expert-led facilitation with interactive Q&A, offering a unique opportunity to learn from industry leaders and connect with like-minded peers. Become part of our vibrant community dedicated to continuous learning and development. Click here to secure your spot at our next webinar.